Let Me Rewind

Was talking to my mom on the way to the doctor, and I asked about my grandfather. He was a guy who enjoyed life, eating good food and being a good man. I remember how he used to take me out on rides in his taxi when he worked as a taxi driver. He would drive me to the petrol kiosk and buy me candies. I remember he loved karaoke. He was one who enjoy good food. Then, he was cancer-stricken. It was too late, and all we could do was see him suffer. My mom cried her eyes out. I was Primary 4 then. I did not know how precious life and family was. I never thought losing someone was so bad. I just felt that, hey, something different is happening from my monotonous life of schooling and homework. Stupid, stupid, little boy. I wish, right now, I can just go back to that time, and really cherish the grandfather I never got to truly love.

His cancer was so bad that he could not eat. And he was hoping he could at least have one last, good meal. At my age then, I was a young kid who did not know what was happening. Now I realise how blind I was. There my grandfather was, bedridden and unable to eat anything, his only wish was for one last meal. My mom tried her best, and made him green bean soup. She said she fed him the soup, and could not hold back her tears. My grandfather choked a bit on the beans and fibres; it was difficult to consume even this. But after that, all the trouble to consume one little green bean soup, all he said was, "This is the best."

It's ten years since he was gone, but he's still alive in me.

They say it makes me crazy,
I simply think I see the bigger picture.