I am seriously too free

I got bored, so I decided to find some site that would let me make my own customized poker cards. With all my P3 feels, I went ahead and make one for P3, including P3:FES and P3P. It took me a while to decide what pictures to use, as the art was not as good in the past as compared to now. I had a lot of trial and errors, until I finally came to this, and it looks really nice! All I need to do now is consider how many to order. Apparently ordering more would result in cheaper prices per deck. Hence I'm contemplating if I should order a couple more, just to sell. I know it's considered "illegal", but I plan to just sell 4-5 sets? I dunno... I guess I'm really proud of my work and hope to spread it.

Then I went ahead and make a Persona 4 one, which I wanted to make more... vibrant and colourful. While the P3 one was plain, I wanted to make this one more catchy to the eye. I used the artwork from P4U and P4G, as they were the most up-to-date and awesome art, and inculcated the characters from P4U such as Elizabeth and the P3 characters in. I missed out Marie from P4G, but I wasn't sure if she was canon, plus the fact that I ran out of "space" among the cards, brought me to my decision to leave her out.

I did contemplate whether to use fan art found online, but feared that the artists may come and sue me or something. Sure, using official art doesn't make it better, but I'm guessing there's a higher chance that the artists would find more fault than the company.

Despite considering that, I ended up creating a Shingeki no Kyojin deck, this time using fan art along with anime material. It's definitely harder because I googled for way more pictures, and I made it such that every card had their own picture, unlike the Persona series ones. So yeah, it's long, and satisifying (that's what she said). I'm not complete yet though; I'm contemplating waiting for more episodes of the anime (due to lack of pictures), before actually finalizing it and deciding whether to sell some (while getting for my own as well).

Anyway, with that aside, I tried out this new Ultraman series, called Ultraman Ginga, and I guess I outgrew Ultraman, because despite the show taking things differently from its predecessors,  I still found the whole thing quite boring. Even the fighting scenes couldn't make up for it.

Last of all, today I saw a photo in her profile that really shook me and made me realize how horrible a person I was. I became the thing I wanted to protect her from, and was my own worst enemy. Now all I can do is live with regret, for who-knows-how-long...

Nope, this isn't an emo post. Nope.

So life's recently been quite sucky for me. I'm trying to distract myself with other things in life, to keep out the one thing that matters in my life the most, to stop thinking of the pain and emptiness I feel inside. One year ago, I told myself never to get into a relationship because in the end, it fails and hurts me so much. Well, hooray for me for not heeding my own advice. I love her, but apparently she no longer feels the same way.

I've been trying to cope with this, and to at least keep it together. And yet now she treats me like I'm invisible, totally shunning me away, ignoring me. Life's cruel, and love can be a bitch too. But I love her too much to want anyone else but her, and I'm just going to have to do other things in life while waiting for her to be ready again. I don't want this to end. I don't want to lose someone who I hold so dear.

But enough of the emo stuff. Let's see what I've been doing this holiday to try to distract me from the sad truth of reality. I've downloaded loads of shows to watch, just to spend my time and keep me happy (temporarily). I've Xiao Lin Showdown (which I heard that a new series is coming out), The Office (US version), Teen Titans, and Young Justice. I did download a few movies too, just to give them a shot.

I think the thing that I'm most thrilled about is the new trailer and news for the Persona 3 movie! Totally fanboy-ing over this awesome game (which came out in 2006) and finally gets 2-3 movies (this is #1)!!! Totally psyched for it, and I'm going to be cosplaying as the protagonist again this year at events just to express my love for the game! I was suppose to cosplay with her as Yukari, but because of recent... stuff,  I'm cosing alone again. All the wonderful scenes I had hope to do... all gone.