The thing is, being a band with a group of close friends does not sound easy to me. Neither does it actually sound good either. Take it as having a relationship within our group. If the relationship turns sour, won't the group be affected? The way I see it, the band is that "relationship" to me. I mean, what good has the band actually done positively to our CR gang?I for one do not actually see one. And I want to take a step back from it all for a while.
Even if I do open up, I still hold back a little. Even that day when we had our little "band discussion". Because, I can spill everything I have to say and it would probably screw up the CR gang. Face it, we cannot exactly be "no holding back". If I really did not hold back things might have gotten ugly. I'll never spill everything. Never. Because I've been doing a lot of thinking.
When I first started, I felt excited to go for jamming. But when I really knew what I wanted, and how the band was, I realised I did not like it. Honestly, I'm not keen on jamming these days as before. I've, to be direct, lost the passion to jam.
Maybe it's because I'm of a different frequency with our band currently. I'm dying to do gigs, but that's just trivial. The more important thing: I want to be enjoying music. I want to have fun with songs like Green Day, All Time Low, Hey Monday, Paramore. Sure I may say "I'm fine with it", whatever "it" may be, but it's because I cannot be bothered anymore.
It's not like we'll be doing any jamming or anything any time soon, plus with my helluva duty schedule. So I want to take a break from our band, not care nor be involve in it in any way for a month or two. It's not that I hate our band; I just don't like it as before. So I'm going to shut out our band from my life for a while because I want to find the passion for jamming I've lost in the way. And maybe some of us should too.
Maybe we were young for too long.
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