sigh...

i'm so sick of spending money...and de week is almost over!!!didn't even get to do wat i wanted in my to-do-list(found in previous blog).today another monotonous day at home...

come to think of it i'm rather lucky with my NS life so far.i wonder if God was watching over me,or maybe just luck.i dunno wat to think these days...i've not gone to church since NS,and just thinking of going kinda makes me uneasy or sth...sth is just not de same anymore,since...

bmtc was smooth sailing for me,considering i got de slackest platoon.only thing was dat my platoon was on 5th floor...haha.bslc i got even luckier.my platoon was 2nd floor,and we were so near de exit and cookhouse!unlike other coys like Foxtrot and Golf(Sorry jeff haha).and even though my platoon got de scariest PWO,he was busy during field camp and grandslam so my paltoon was spared!i didn't even dig 1 complete shellscrap and got away with it!(actually most of my section got away with it) and i tot gg aslc was de best place to be posted to becos,even though got more crap,but after that can go tekong and slack.i've never considered gg to air force or watever slack stuff,becos i didn't know.and on de day of posting,i was just begging "No ASL,No ASL,No ASL"(ASL-Armor Scout leader).they treat u like POWs there as training.wth man.and thank God i went to air force school instead!i was soooo relieved.haha


and i think it was pure luck that i got into SMU Accountancy.but i'll tell that story another time.haha...but thinking about it why am i so lucky in life?could it really be God watching over me?Or am i being paranoid?and if it IS God's doing,why me?I've never been a good christian aka hardcore(in my dictionary).i don deserve these good things in life.why why why?


waitasec,why am i asking such stuff?!must be all those Maltese...damn.



I'm just another lost soul,facing the harsh outside alone...

Sometimes i know what i need to change in life,
but easier said than done.