Love & Hate,Past & Present

haha today i dug out this old book from primary school,where my frens would write some stuff down,like their favorite stuff,their closest frens(ranked Gold,Silver,Bronze.lol) and a small msg to me.haha how young and simple-minded we were when we were so young...and de 1st person to write inside(apart from me) was de 1st crush i had,and she called me her best friend...even now as i read it a familiar feeling of glee is felt.puppy love?God knows.and i saw de input by my best fren in primary school,and i recall how much we've helped each other,how much i failed as a good fren.i was never a good fren,until today.i always screw up at least once with every fren i have,even though i don realize it until it's too late.kinda makes me hate myself even more...I'm like the perfect imperfection of a person...

so today kinda spent time trying to find my old school frens on FB to add them...many couldn't be found.haha oh well...

i changed my FB name.I'm not gonna put my actual name there anymore becos i think I'm kinda "weird" enough.all i ever wanted was to be...i dunno...normal?average?haha so next time i'll use Jason,but de cr gang can stick to my actual name.haha 6 years of friendship and counting is ok.haha

i keep thinking of that day at the modeling agency,when i didn't have the bloody balls to just start a conversation with you.the signs were clear,but i was too damn ball-less to do anything.until today i still regret it,wishing i could turn back time.i look at girls every time I'm out,just to hopefully see your face in the passing crowds.another reason why i hate myself...

ordered mac today!it was raining,so i was lazy to go out for lunch.i used the online ordering system,and it's really efficient!technology is really amazing.haha and it said that my food would arrive in 1 hour's time,and i kinda understand,especially with such harsh weather.but the food came in...15 mins?! O.O that's fast food delivery for you.haha so there i was,sitting in front of my com enjoying the satisfying meal and watching x-men origins:wolverine.haha

so fast book in tmr...sianz...haha gotta start training.start to get my physique right.as sihua say,must eh...dunno wat your calibre!!!...watever that meant...haha(i interpret it as to make yourself more appealing to uni gals after NS XD)

playing ridge racer 2 on psp.lazy to play monster hunter unite.haha de drifting is simply "mind-blasting" haha

I can't seem to use italic again,so i can't put de italic msg i usually do in my posts.so i'll make do with standard font for this post...lol

I want to like what I see in the mirror...