Free Bird!

I've never enjoyed booking out like today! When I stepped out of the gate today, I felt...free. Like I've just finish serving my time in prison and stepped into the outside world for the first time. Felt really good.

Duty was dull, to say the least. Spent my time with PSP and iPod Touch, watching Autumn Concerto!!! Autumn Concerto ftw! If I had a video convertor I'd be spamming The Mentalist though.haha

Today when I went to the 24/7 manning room to get my stuff, I heard my team commander's handphone ringing. And his ringtone was some girl moaning and moaning. Trust me, it definitely sounds from hentai. I mean, the sound of a girl moaning ends with her...reaching the peak. The tone did kinda make it sound like some remix, but it's still damn obvious.LOL

Had lousy camp food for so long! Need PIZZA.

Got to cut my hair, buy my cap, get Accounting book, pay my bills, and JAMJAMJAMJAMJAM.


Freedom.
It's like flying in the open sky.

Revelation

Since sihua used that word, I'll use it for this post's title.haha

Ok I know I flipped, but I'm not going to delete that previous post, because it will help me remember my moment of weakness. And I now I kind of realised something, and everything fits perfectly.

I realised the problem didn't lie with the world, but rather with me.

I always wondered why the guys never worry about finding love. I thought that the time wasted on gaming could be spent with someone special if we manage to find that person(i still think gaming is a waste of time btw). So I decided to try to find love.

And through the couple of years all I got was failures and sadness. Yet I thought that soon I'd hit the jackpot. I kept going on and on, and all I did was hurt myself. For what? That question came to my mind eventually.

Then I realised, maybe I was playing it all wrong. As much as I want someone to love, to protect, to worry about, I cannot "find" the person. Because love is not something you find nor plan out, it's more of luck and time. Love, I feel, will come when the time is right. And only a fool like me thought I could catch it, like a little kid trying to grab butterflies with his bare hands.

So, nobody is to be blamed, except for myself. I don't hate anyone, except for myself.

I'll put my blog back to public, firstly because my friends would need to log in just to read which is troublesome. Second, because I want people to not screw up like me. Third, I'm not ashamed to show my flaws, as long as I learn and improve. My blog is not to show how great I am, but rather how great Things in life can change me for the better.

And just like that, I see a bigger picture, and I'm getting up onto my feet again. Life wasn't created to be wasted :)

Gawd I want to eat pizza. Having Domino's tomorrow for lunch! Yahoo!



What can I say?
I can't seem to stay down.

All Time Low

I'm going to be eating crap food for 24 hours more. 48 hours duty is no joke. I lack sleep, I'm hungry, I need to brush my teeth really badly, and I think I'm falling sick. And seems like they don't provide breakfast, means I've got to starve. I'm not even allowed to go out and buy food. Mess and canteen do not open on weekends. This is just great.

Everyone keeps calling me to do things. And I mean everyone. Like I'm some dog to them, running around for them. Can I just play dead?

Enough mind-fucking, people. I've had it.

One thing I learn today, is to keep everything closer to your chest. They don't need to know anything. Nobody does.


Emo has a new low.
Didn't you know?

Note:
Sorry for all this nonsense, guys. Just feel really fucked right now.haha

Tough Nut

They say let go,
I say no.
I may be down,
But I'm not out.
I'll get back up,
I'll not be some wimp.
I'm not doing this for anyone,
I'm getting up for my own sake.
Perseverance,
Determination,
Stubbornness,
Whatever you call it.
But I'm not giving up.




It's a big world out there.
But so is my spirit.

Bleak outlook

I'm tired. So many duties crammed together, and my weekends are shortened a lot. I book out on Sunday morning and book in again on Sunday night. Means my weekend isn't even 24hours...and this will last for 1 month.

Finally got to eat Mac after so long! Last time I ate was last last week? Way too long, if you ask me. And saw some masks, but costs $55 per mask. Forget it.

Going to sleep early tonight. More duty tomorrow, until Sunday morning.

FML.


Nobody seems to care.
Neither will I.

Inspired!

I'm now watching all the local covers for popular songs, and it really inspires me! Gawd I'm gonna practise and make sure Cheeseburgers will be on youtube one day!

And this local group of gals called WonderShiDae are awesome. Sure they don't look fantastic, but at least they are REAL.

Suddenly love After School's song. Can't remember the name though. Sihua showed me before.haha

Why do people record their singings in their bathrooms?LOL

Cheeseburgers, wanna give Poker Face a shot? :D



My guitar,
My friend,
My life.

Pfffft

I hate this. I hate me. I hate what I'm in.

I've decided that they are all a waste of my time.

I'll vent it out on my other blog.

Got 2 extra I think. What luck. And I'm doing tomorrow's duty at last minute. FML.



Get.Me.Out.

Waiting

This morning was horrible. Had to wake up at 5 to go open the stores early, which my friend could have done it himself... -.-

And when I woke up, it hit me that I wasn't suppose to fall asleep! I was just laying there last night, waiting for a SMS. And my phone was at max volume, so I was sure that, even if I dozed off, the phone would wake me up. But it didn't....damn. Sorry sorry :(

And last night I had a great dream! I'll describe it in my other blog, because it is kind of personal:) But the thing is, it sucks that what occurs in the dream will not become reality. Reminds me of when I was young, and I dreamt that I could get whatever toys I wanted for free. And when I woke up I would be super-pissed.

Today was uneventful, apart from playing Dante's Inferno till I'm sick of PSP. Not gonna touch it anytime soon.

Autumn Concerto is nice. Something to do during my duties:)



If I could just say it all out,
Instead of keeping it inside.
It would be simpler for me,
But tougher for you.
You bring out the best of me,
And the worst too.
Your smile brings out mine,
Without you I'm miserable at best.




You're smile is contagious.

Vocals

Today's jamming finally had vocal! Lisa came after being M.I.A. for so long! And we all played quite well today. And we have plans for other songs. Even discussed what is the next step for the band in future. Oh yes, we do have plans to try to make it big :D

Had char siew rice for dinner! Never get tired of it. But always feel like it is not filling enough, so I would be tempted to buy something else.

Jeff accidentally typed his FB password in the email blank, so CR and I kinda saw his password. Don't worry man! Mum's the word!

Imagine CR and Rosh comes to SMU too...it will be awesome! And the SMU dorms look cool! But I don't think we can rent it. For "International Students." That's not us, right?

I'm really tired, had only 5 hours of sleep today. Hence this short post.



SIGH~ x10000000000

Cause everything you do
And words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And I am left with nothing

New York New York Makes You Full

Yesterday began with gym with Kenny and Jeff. Stupid tank ask can share the machine I was using, which is wth. My sets have 30 seconds rest interval, if we share it that would screw up my exercise. So I waked off. Fucker.

Suppose to swim in the afternoon! I even tidied my place because I know Jeff and Kenny will want to explore my "Wonderland". In the end, Jeff though of cancelling because :1)CR was at home already(though I don't see what's so good of going to his place so early...), and 2)No sun. NO SUN??! Excuse moi but those rays of light definitely ain't some holy light from above. There was sun. Oh well. Poor Kenny brought his swimming stuff for nothing.LOL

Jamming was, usual. Didn't feel the hype yesterday, though just before dinner Kenny and I felt like playing Hey Monday's How You Love Me Now. And wearing masks makes you free to do whatever you like :P

Dinner was at New York New York! Deren and Rosh joined us, and the minute we sat down they all talked about computer games, except for Jeff and I. WTF!!! And I realised they mostly talk about 2 topics: games and army. Yawnzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Chicken Po-something was awesome as usual! But I still have the same problem as always; I always struggle at the last few mouthfuls. It's really, really filling. We took cotton candy too, and played around with it and water. Julian's Pubes....ROFL

After dinner we went to get some masks for our band. You can check it out on my FB, because I uploaded pictures of us wearing it. Should we paint the mask? Yes? No? Anyway went to lan after that. I don't know why I decided to lan, because I always feel that lan can be a waste. But I got this small itch I guess, so I went along. We played so many games! TF2, DoD Source, Counter-Strike, L4D... we got owned in L4D. No fun. Normally we trash people. But it's not that we suck. It's just that there was someone better... we think they are hackers,though. But CS was surprisingly fun! Brings back memories, and sure made us laugh a lot! Feel like playing it again!!!



You keep me waiting,
But I don't mind.
:)

Rush Hour!

No, I didn't watch the movie "Rush Hour" today.haha

I'll start of with this: You know Sparking Fuji Apple? Well, they have Sparking (something) Orange, and it is tooooooo sweet. Don't try it unless you have spare change, my friends. And having the drink accidentally going up your nose because you heard a funny joke is not pleasant either. Voice of experience here. Fizzling at the back of your nose... :S

Ok today was... tiring. To start with, I set my alarm at 4.30am, but I turned it off when it sounded and thought of laying there for 15 minutes more. Who knew I slept till 5.30am? My sergeant had to come into our bunk to wake me and my friend. And my Battery Commander, who is topmost of the top in my battery, was overseeing the trainees' exercise, which was not good considering I overslept. Fortunately, we moved fast, hence crisis averted.

I had so much to do today due to my role as my squad leader, but I managed to settle it all in the morning! :) So I let myself to some deserved sleep before taking the trainees. We all got to book out early, and since I was on duty it meant I had to leave last. So I did the fastest handover of stores and booked out quite early. Thought I could catch up with some of the trainees, who booked out only minutes earlier, but they all disappeared without a trace. I think they are all from Ninja Coy.haha

Ok people like my pal Jeffishy wonder why I created another blog, which I made private. it's because there are things I really want to type out, but would not be suitable for some to read. Unless I think you can read my heart, you can continue reading my mind from this blog :)

My mom is strongly against Men's health, and won't help me buy it any more. She thinks the Sex section is too...graphical with their way of words.LOL

Oh and CR congrats on your grades! Though we don't see your All A's. Maybe I'll see you in SMU!haha

By the way, have you bloggers tried the "Next Blog" tab on the top of the blog? I tried it today and saw blogs from people around the globe, and I realised how beautiful their blogs are, not because of the way they design it (in fact, they don't design it), but rather of what they blog about. They talk about the joys in their lives, their loved ones, the problems they are facing in life, their aspirations and goals in life. It makes me feel so ashamed of my relatively narrow insight of life, making my blog seem immature. And I  do not hate them for that, because they give me a brighter outlook in life. So go ahead, click that button, and realise that life is more than movies, fun and self interests :)

I'm going to run until my feet bleed and my leg muscles cramp. Because I plan to shed all my fats on my body. Just exaggerating, but you got the point.lol

Hopefully, you did not take just now the wrong way :)

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

The Start of the End

Damn... I've got to wake up at 4am tomorrow for the trainees. Plus, I can only sleep at midnight tonight because I've got to help my friend do something...here is where it shall all begin...

Today had to check our BMI, and my weight is 62.1kg. So heavy! My friend, of same height, is 60kg. I'm going to freaking bring down my weight! Start the starving!!!haha

Gotta run more.

Soooooo tired! Shall sleep now, at 7.45pm!lol

Wish recall is not this week. Please please please please please!haha

Maybe I shall create another blog, a more...personal one for myself to read alone...hmmm maybe something like a http://jasonization.blogspot.com...

Can't get you out. It's a good thing, yet a bad thing too :)



Face our challenges,
Never fall.
Keep walking on,
Never back down.
Stay on your feet,
Be optimistic.

:)

Today i tried yoghurt, walked around Ion Orchard, and found out Uni Qlo and Cotton On are everywhere!

Hope you had a great time! I definitely did! Though I feel I could've been better:( Hope you like the surprise! And I can't believe my sir saw us in the MRT train.LOL

"The further you get, the fonder I feel."


You never look less beautiful. And I speak from my heart :)




I'll wait,
And wait,
And wait,
All the way.
Because doing otherwise,
Is like throwing gold into the ocean.

Simplistic Complication

I make believe that I impress
That every word, by design, turns a head
I wanna feel reckless, wanna live it up just because
I wanna feel weightless 'cause that would be enough

One Bitten, Twice Shy

Today studied for PKE test! I memorised all the MCQ until I could vomit out the answers w/o even looking at the options!!! I think it overworked my brain because after that I dozed off.haha Skipped breakfast, not like I was missing anything good :P

Dinner was great! But I'm not sure why I couldn't finish my baked rice. Nervous? Who knows?haha Anyway hope you like the iPhone cover, and that I made a right choice...Don't want to waste your money.haha

And this month is going to be super packed! Almost all my weekends burn because of 24/7 duties! I've got a long month ahead of me... :(

I didn't play my cards too well.

"Especially girls like you,who can have anyone. And that makes guys like me, who looks in a mirror and always see a dork looking back, really, really anxious."