Succeed Or Dye Trying

Well, my hair got pretty screwed. Yesterday's dye was quite fail, because even under light, the blue was so unnoticeable. As good as not dying. So my mom made another appointment for me today at that same place, and this time I had a photo of the kind of blue I wanted to have for my hair. I wanted the blue to be visible even indoors. And it seems like they actually understood.

And then there's that shitty feeling when, after another round of bleaching and dying, the hair looked the same as before. Barely any change. WTH. And the lady said that she used the same dye, just that she rinsed it off faster or something. Either way, it was a waste of time today. Fortunately the hair salon my mom frequents can dye my hair the way I want it, and I've already made an appointment on Wednesday. Hopefully, third time's the charm.

Teamwork Without Team Is Just... Work

I'm not sure what I am about to say is justifiable, because maybe it's just me being unreasonable. Wanted to blog this on that day itself, since I was raging inside. But I've kinda calmed down now. Kinda. Well, here goes...

For my statistics class, we were suppose to do a report as a group and submit it to the professor. That day when the group decided their tasks to do, I was busy at my CCA, DJ-ing. So when I went home and finally see the huge discussion that had occurred in my absence, I realized there was not really much for me to do for the preparation of the report.

Fast forward to a few days later, during the meeting. Feeling bad for still haven't been able to contribute(I
'm the only guy and the oldest in the group), I offered to compile the report together. Least I could do, right?

Well, the day before the submission, which I was going to do the compiling since I had a big presentation to settle that day, my friend SMS-ed me(and along with the whole group) that the report was compiled. And honestly, I was am pretty pissed. I mean, that was my part. My only big contribution to the group, and it gets taken away like that. Might as well not put my name in the report. And everyone's gonna think: Oh this guy is in our group but he didn't do shit for it, aka free rider. If you just trust me to complete the compiling, at least I could've contributed to the report. But as of now, I did zilch. Like, fucking zero. Aren't we suppose to be a team? When I kinda told my friend that the part was suppose to be my task, she replied, "You guilty?" What are you trying to imply? So don't blame me for being anal about it. I wanted to contribute, you decided to jump the gun, and assume I'm guilty. Real nice.

There's a difference being called a team player and actually being one.

I don't bitch in people's face. I bitch here.

Bad Morning, Everyone!

Got woken up by some SMS. Kinda ticked me off. Had so many days to plan bidding, but you wait until early morning to ask me my bid -.- You may have morning class today, but some people are still sleeping y'know.

And they way you pang seh me in bidding, makes me wonder how much of a friend you respect me as -_- My bid follows yours, since you bidding alone. Then you so happily changed it to join the rest without telling me to change too. If I hadn't checked Facebook this morning, I wouldn't have found out until bidding closed. That's what friends are for?

Fucked-up way to start the day.

 Sorry for the bitching. I'm just really not in the mood right now.

Be Strong

Poor Richie. In a way, he is kinda in the same scenario as me. But like I told him, there's always a girl out there who deserves how much effort you put in for her. That's what I feel. I find it ridiculous when a girl tells me, "You're a great guy" or "You're really nice and sweet" but end up saying she doesn't like me. Either you are a liar or you must really want a lousy boyfriend. Save those stupid lines for a sucker who'd believe that.

I mean, sure, I admit, I miss those moments. I miss her smile, I miss those beautiful eyes of hers which I can get lost in, that familiar nice smell of her hair, and that warm feeling when she reaches out and touches my hand. Really, I miss her. But hey! Wake up! Something went wrong along the way, and she probably lost interest in me. So I shall not put in so much effort. If she doesn't want to reply my SMSes, so be it. If she doesn't want to even see my face, so be it. I'm not some dog, always at the beck and call of some girl. At least respect me as a person. I believe that there's a girl who will appreciate all the things I do for her! :)

LTB quiz today! Totally didn't study for it, except for an hour before the lesson. Did the paper in 10mins, slept the rest of the time!

The graduation gig for my DJ workshop is cancelled! Damn sad :(

And what the fuck. You block me on Facebook just because he is my close friend? Bitch!

Crappy Day

Basically, my entire day is spoiled because my mom just had to piss me off. "Where you going?" "Doing what?" "With who?" "One person or a group?" "Until what time?" Maybe you guys can take this kind of thing, but I seriously can't.

And because of that, I had no mood to jam or study. And that resulted in jamming being rather... dull today. Sorry guys :(

I didn't want to go home so early, so I went to cut my hair(although there isn't much change), and went Teo Heng alone to just sing for 2 hours. I just wanted to sing out my frustration and sian-ness. Unfortunately there were no free rooms D: Bummer.

In a nutshell, today was definitely not my day.

Still got Biz Law stuff to read up, but I'm going to take a nap first! :D

So F***ing Pissed

Her iPhone is lost! Wish I could do something about it :(

I am so f***ing pissed off with my mom right now.

Some Things Should Be Said

Well, two days of the new school term and I think I'm liking it so far! Maybe because I have my Asoc  group friends with me! Really, I think classes would suck if you didn't know anyone(like the LTB class I'm having tomorrow...). And all my professors are nice and/or funny so far! Wonder if the last two are good too!

I think I'm really not used to the school being this crowded, as I kind of settled into the peaceful and empty environment of the special term. To see so many students, foreign ones especially, is quite... new for me. But it's quite cool to see students from other countries coming to my school to study!

*****************************************************************************

The more I think about it, the more it truly pisses me off. You turn him down thrice. Thrice. Yet you play with him and lead him on for so many months. And he was either blinded by love or really loyal(I think it's the latter), but he stayed there throughout, always there for you, never asking for more than your acceptance. You used him, you used my friend, you f***ing bitch.

You say guys are not trustworthy, how they make use of girls, how you feared of giving your heart to a guy. I remember those words from when we first knew each other. You look for good guys, yet you don't deserve them. I heard everything from him, and before you say one word to deny what he says or say he's lying, I want you to know I know him long enough to know that he won't lie or twist words or take advantage of situations. Unlike some people. I'm, honestly, disgusted by you.

I always believe that girls should be treated well. Guys tend to treat them as an item for their lust, or some entertainment to enjoy before moving on to another girl. Guys never seem to take a girl's feelings into consideration, and treat them like dirt. I hate guys like that. Like, really. I don't like how guys mistreat girls.

But it is girls like you who don't deserve such kindness. You abuse the kindness of a guy, and when things turn sour, you try to turn even his loved ones on him. I hate this kind of behavior -> I hate this kind of people -> I hate you. Really, I've got no more respect for you, and the only words I can use to describe you are just too vulgar for me to blog. I hope you'll somehow survive your life, being the person you are. If you haven't noticed, I've blocked you from Facebook.

Maybe I'm just guilty for ever letting him meet you. I thought that two good people could probably find some connection. I made him go through months of hell and emo-ing for you, and for what? For you to constantly rub another boyfriend in his face? For you to lead him on, and reject him every time? For you to enjoy him coming back to you, no matter how much you "push" him away? I'm angry at myself for ever putting him in such a situation, but I'm more furious at you for mistreating my friend.

I don't know what you take him for. He has feelings, and maybe you're being selfish. Or you maybe know, but are more cunning than we know. Manipulative is a better word. You want to play around, but keeping him close until you find a guy with money. Honestly, when I compare the guys you get together with and my friend, I don't see how they can be better people at heart than him. So why them? My guess? Money. Bet you can't give me a more justifiable reason. Even if you can, then why keep him in your palm for so long? You like seeing guys being hurt?

I'd scold and swear a few other things at you, but that would be more of personal attack than giving reasons for my argument. Honestly, I'm damn tempted to to just say those mean stuff at you. Don't expect me to even say hi if I ever see you in the streets again.

I thought he may not have been good enough for you. Obviously, it is you who was not good enough for him.

First Day

Well, yesterday was the first day of my official school life, since I've already done special term. I had Business Law (Bizlaw for short) yesterday, and it's quite ridiculous for me to wake up so early just for one lesson in school. And I hate the journey to school! The MRT train is so packed, and people still insist on squeezing in. Really gets on my nerves sometimes. One day I'll just give up at take taxi to school on Mondays for this semester.

Bizlaw was alright, I guess. I saw a couple of familiar faces, I've Sin Ren in the same class as me, and the professor is funny! Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of knowledgeable students in class, so I feel quite... stupid(?) in class. And Bizlaw is rather hard to digest, so I need some time to look through the day's stuff and try to understand better.

I'm not sure why but I suddenly felt really hungry in class yesterday. My stomach growled and it was so loud! Even Sin Ren can hear it! Went to the Oh My Fruits shop just downstairs and grabbed a ham & cheese sandwich! Delicious!

Went for lunch with Sin Ren then went to a group seminar room to study a bit, since she had another lesson at 3.30pm and I felt bad if I were to pang seh her and go home. And I spoiled my laptop charging cable when I unknowingly had my chair rest on the wire, which was on the floor. But looks like it still can be used! Just need to tape it up!

Maybe the school internet was less tapped on during the special term. Because yesterday the internet was acting rather screwy. Half the time I'm trying to get a connection, and even when I did my pages had problem loading! Probably because there are so many students tapping the school's internet. I'll bring my mobile broadband just in case!

At least I only need to wake up so early on Mondays. All my lessons for every other day starts at 12 noon! And Fridays no school! :D

It now looks like I'm the bad guy.

And So It Begins...

...school, that is. Tomorrow is the start of my first year in university! From year 0 to a year 1 student! I guess I'm too used to the crammed courses in special term, so I'm expecting the courses to shift into full throttle within the first week. I hope I get a shock and realize that mods in the usual term is at a slower pace!

A lot of my friends are already mugging, but I guess they've got the SMUgger thing in them. Either that or kiasu-ism. I heard that my batch of students overbid on the mods, which kind of indicates that for my batch, there are a lot of really hardcore muggers. The bell curve is now the least of my worries; the biggest problem is being surrounded by crazy geeks!

I also need to mentally prepare myself for a crowded school. During my special term, the school was relatively empty and peaceful, but from what I've been hearing, all hell breaks loose during the school terms. The library will no longer be the best place to study :(

Totally not prepared for tomorrow's lesson, but at least I'll see a familiar face there! :)

Caught up with some anime I've been watching but halted due to camps and friends. Sket Dance is as random and funny as usual, and Usagi Drop is one that I want to see to the end. I'm waiting for Persona 4 anime to come out!

Dragon Age 2 just keeps getting better! Unfortunately, I get really pissed when the big spiders fall down from the ceiling. They always scare me. Disgusting freaks. And what's worse is the big boss spider drops down on my team... yucks.

I tried The Witcher, and I honestly do not like the combat. All I need is to left-click my mouse to kill the enemy. Maybe it is because the game is quite old, and they grew wiser for Witcher 2. But I don't plan to really play that game.

STGCC is this weekend! I can't wait!!!

I wonder what CCA I should join. I feel like joining photography, or rock climbing, or fencing, or the band one. Maybe the lifeguard one. Damn! What should I choose?!

Went to download a lot of new clubbing songs, and nearly changed my entire blog design. Unfortunately, the picture I wanted to use as background was too big in terms of size, so I decided to forget about it. But I added the songs to my Mixpod on the blog!

Sometimes...

... feels like a #@$ing waste of my time and patience.

The Bad Guy

Sometimes I feel like I'm the bad guy of the story all along, even if I didn't want to :(

I need directions in life, or maybe a guidebook. Anything.

But everybody's gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up

~ Blink 182 - Dammit

End Of Camps

Well, Project iConserve camp is finally over, marking the end of all my camps! 2 weeks worth of camps finally over! I have to admit, I'm pretty tired, and I feel so lost at home. I honestly wish that I have more camps next week or something. Maybe because I enjoy just having fun and not worrying about studies and all?

iConserve camp was, honestly speaking, so-so. As in, it doesn't exactly suck, but it isn't awesome either. I quite enjoy irritating my group, who are fun people but unfortunately they are of different school than me. Lemme list all the "cons" of the camp first. First and foremost, is the constant relocating of sleeping location. This is not exactly our fault, because all the rooms are booked. But I liked how I could leave things lying around my area in the seminar room in Asoc camp because we'd be using the room for the entire camp. I like that "homely" feeling. In this camp, I have to ensure that my stuff are mostly still in the bag, prepared to be moved the following day. Another issue I have with the camp is the fact that I need to use my own cash for my meals. I've spent quite a lot in this camp on my meals, but it is quite expected considering the $5 payment for this camp. I also feel that we should have dry-run the games to find ways to make them more fun and interesting. Apart from these, I do not really have much issues with this camp. I love my group, and it kinda sucks to miss the free Singapore Flyer ride.

With the end of camps comes the realization that school is about to start. Now that is a huge bummer. Totally spoils my mood. And bidding starts this Wednesday, and as much as I want need to bid, I kinda dread it. Ah well... at least I get to meet my Asoc group! Woots!

HTHT with Eileen and Hilary and I only have 3 words after our talk: wake up call.

I realize I tend to open up more to girls than to guys. Wonder why? Hmmm...

It's about time to update my Mixpod on my blog!haha

I feel like just watching shows and stone the whole of today after 2 weeks of running around and having fun :)

She's sophisticated,

or so she seems.
This place is overrated,
but it's the place to be.
She never comes alone,
and everyones her friend.
Her home away from home.


~Hot Chelle Rae - Queen Of The Scene

Mom Ain't The Word

Well, since I can't do it anymore, I guess I'll say it. I wanted to make a cupcake for her birthday. I mean, it's cheaper than buying a slice of cake, and it's more... hmm how shall I put it... from me. Anyone can buy something for someone.

I know I shouldn't be bitching about it, because I'm 21 this year and should be oh-so-mature, but I just want to type it all out. Unless you'd rather I open my mouth and speak. Because what I'll say out won't be very pretty.

So I told my mom I wanted to make cupcakes, and she went all "Okay" and saying that I'm lucky that she was free on Saturday to stay home and supervise. She never trusts me with the kitchen. I can't even cook noodles or boil water on my own. She doesn't seem to understand how pathetic I look when I admit that I've never "boil water before." All she cares of is that her kitchen is so clean, maybe so that it can sparkle and shine out some food or something.

Anyway, since she gave her blessings, I thought that everything was more or less settled. It's like everything is going according to plan.

Then, this morning, she just came into my room and showed me some magazine talking about some shop selling cupcake, and said she help me buy that one for me to give; saying I cannot bake the cupcake. Now, maybe at this point you readers feel that that is okay, but to me I was really, really pissed. My mom decided to back out last minute just because she think the cupcake-baking would mess up her kitchen? Have you ever had your things planned out nicely and suddenly someone do some stunt and screw up your entire plan? Then she gets angry that I want to make a cupcake and that I'm not willing to just buy one. If I wanted to buy something, I wouldn't even bother asking you. She doesn't seem to get how much nicer it is to give a gift made by you rather than bought by you.

So I tried my best to keep calm and say I'll just buy a cake. And when I go out one-to-one with someone and buy a cake, why the f*** would I buy an entire cake? Of course I will just buy a slice for her to eat; just to celebrate her birthday. My mom started scolding about me spending so much money to buy one whole cake for a girl, and that "you think you got so much money" thingy. I'm not sure if it's because from a parent point of view, they cannot see the child's situation from the child's point of view, but all I can say is that my mom's pretty blind about this.

Then she keeps scolding about how I don't want to tell her about me and this girl. I mean, firstly there's nothing much to say,at least to a parent. It's not like they can give solid advice. No offence, but they'll tend to act all "master of relationship" and expect you to listen to their every word. My friends live in the now with me, they know how things go with our generation, so common sense naturally says "consult friends". My mom seems to think that she knows everything about love and relationship, but I don't think the same. So she gets all pissed at me for it. Sorry mom, but looking at your relationship with dad, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I mean, it mostly is, but I definitely will not make the same mistakes as you two probably made in marriage and parenting.

Secondly, shouldn't I have the freedom to decide what I share and not share with you? Just because I'm living under your roof, your care, doesn't mean my life must be a total open book for you. Sometimes I feel like you are digging out info more for some juicy story and entertainment than to help me. Like I'm some Korean drama unfolding, all for you to enjoy. No offence, but I'm not sure what you can help with either, when it comes to consulting about relationships. Shouldn't it be up to me to decide when I want to share such information with you? I'm 21 this year, I'm not a little boy anymore, shouldn't I be allowed to keep my own life my own story? Maybe you are too used to taking care of me, but I'm not some little boy any more. I've come to a point where I want to live on my own, cook my own food, find love, think about having kids, deciding my career in future; I'm growing up. As childish and eccentric I may be, I'm thinking of things as an independent person. As much as I enjoy the care you show me, I have my life I want to explore and live. I cannot stay under your wing forever.

But arguing with you is a lost cause. You'll never bother to see things from an outside point of view. I'll just keep quiet and tolerate. I mean, what's the point of me saying anything to argue? So I shall keep quiet. And when I keep quiet, you start to get all pissed again, just because I don't say anything.

Lucky for me, I bought a present yesterday, so even without the cupcake at least I can salvage my plans.

End of Bitching.

Old And Alone

I spent the whole of yesterday at the Community Service Project(CSP) talks in SMU, getting people to sign up for our iConserve. I have to admit, there were a lot of people who simply ignore me. Which I find rather rude. Now I know how those people doing surveys or giving out flyers feel. I mean, the least you can do is turn down nicely. You don't have to pretend that I don't exist. We have such people in SMU? Sad, really. I will at least bother to put my hand up and say "No, thanks." I showed two girls where the female toilet was, and the guys were laughing about it. Too bad I couldn't show the girls to the iConserve booth.haha I helped to click the powerpoint for the second talk, and Aloysius introduced me and mentioned that my name sounded like a girl's name! Lol School hasn't started and I'm already being known. Vantage point. Heh.

Things ended at around 5 plus, and Jeff and I headed down to Pizza Capers at Katong to meet up with Deren and Kenny, who have already ordered a pizza. But judging by the number of slices still there, I'm guessing the pizza just arrived. Kenny was on the phone, and took me a while to recognize the voice.haha The pizza there was quite good, but none beats the Domino's Pizza! Muahahaha DP's crust is thinner, and PC's pepperoni pizza is not as awesome as DP's.

We went down to Everything With Fries after that for dessert. I bought the Nutella Tart and regretted it even before the dessert arrived. Kenny's Apple Crumble was much bigger than anticipated, and he gave up halfway.

We saw this ambulance at a petrol kiosk nearby, and looks like some old fellow collapsed there or something. I felt quite sad for him. Imagine being so old, at the final chapter of your life, and yet you are alone and wandering around in life. It's really sad and lonely. So guys(as in everyone, not just the male gender), do find a soulmate so that when you grow old, at least you do so with someone by your side. Looking at that poor guy, makes me want to do some community service to help the aged.

There are times I really dislike answering my mom's questions because all it does it leads to more questions. I wonder if any of my friends' moms are like that. Maybe CR's, since his and mine seem to be of same "frequency". It gets really irritating that I just decide to make my answers short and concise. It's like the question has part 1,2,3,4a,4b...etc

I realized some of the anime I'm watching is still ongoing after 13 episodes!Haha Which is great! Sket Dance and Tiger&Bunny are still on! There's a couple of new anime series I plan to try out. Can't recall the titles though. I wonder what's so bad of watching anime. I mean, isn't it like watching cartoons? I still watch Spongebob Squarepants and those superhero cartoons! XD

Looking at the photos of the Freshmen Team Building camps, I'm starting to feel a bit lazy to go for the camps.haha

Cranky

Okay, maybe I'm being unreasonable being really cranky and pissed because of this, but I'll just say it nonetheless.

Don't F*** my meals.


I feel real stupid for not deciding to eat with my family.

I'll blog when I'm in a better mood.