Codename: Chiaki

A friend asked me where was "your Chiaki".
I laughed and say, "She's not mine!"
Not yet.

This saturday, i want to show you how much you mean to me, and how much i care :)

I wish I didn't think so highly of myself in your life,
thinking I could make things better for you.
In the end, I did the total opposite.
Nothing can stop me from feeling all this guilt,
and I wish I didn't hurt you so much :(


Times like these, I wish I could simply disappear from your life.

But who could blame you?

Now I just feel like a world-class jerk. And that you probably like me even less as of now. But who could blame you?

Funny how you telling me to cheer up can easily do so

Sometimes, I wish I meant more to you than a -

Maybe I Should Call My Blog Venting Zone Or Something

I want to learn not to care TOO much,
Because I'll just make myself miserable.

Wondering where'd you go,
Wishing I didn't fall asleep.
It sucks to wonder like that,
Waiting for god-knows how long.

It's killing me inside so badly right now :(

Because I Suck. Big Time.

I wish I knew how to not be a burden.

Not Really

No. Not really. I say I'm fine with it, but why would I like guys that are of a much older age tickling and poking you like that? However, I'd say "disgusted" is too harsh a word to describe how I feel. Maybe... "disappointed"? I can't find the right word to use. But yes, it disturbs me a little that there are guys of that age doing that to a young girl like you.

Importance is the key(word)

To think that you'd change your plans of going overseas.
To think that you'd cut down on your gaming so much just to chat.
To think that you'd change your sleeping cycle just to be more like mine.
To think that your mood changes because mine does.
To think that I'd make such great changes to your life.

If that doesn't show me how much I mean to you, I don't know what does.

Because two is a company, and everybody loves some company.

I wondered why you would lie on your bed, choosing to chat instead of sleep when you feel so tired. Even though I bug you to just go to sleep. Then I think about how you're alone every day, and hearing the stories of your life, and I realized.

You could use someone to keep you company.

And I think I want to be that "someone".

Because I am a fool.

Where do I begin?

When I know of your "online boyfriend", which anyone would know is all play, but yet it bothers me, making me wonder what I am to you, actually.
When a guy who I know is asking you out for real, yet you seem to think nothing of it, while I think the world of it.
When I go to your profile and I see him saying, "Shall we?", and I see you liking it, as if it is a "yes".
When I want to go to your profile, for no reason, but remembering I'll just see that post there again.
When I see something funny on Tumblr, and I want to share it with you, but you're not online, and I remember the pain I feel.
When I lost all mood to do anything, because I just think about you and all the stuff.
When I want to tell you so badly how I feel right now, but yet I stop myself because I fear its repercussions.
When I know how close you are to a person who has done so much for you, and how it troubles me.
When I feel sad yet happy when I see that my mood spoils yours.
When a smiley from you somehow makes me smile a little, even when my heart is in a turmoil.
When I realize, that maybe I'm just being a fool.

Does this means, this is where it ends?

Coscard Design

Yesterday I was at STGCC cosplaying for the first time ever, and someone asked me for a coscard! So I went to do some reading up about coscards and here's my design for it! My cosplay character is from the game Persona 3, and I thought it would be nice to have my coscard related to it.

For the back of the card I'd like to use this:

As for the front, I wanted to use the status screen from the Persona 3 Portable(PSP version) game. Here's some screenshots from my PSP:

I found a template online which is made from the PS2 version of the game, hence the resolutions are not as wide. I'm hoping to use this template for the front, but with some amendments on the template to make it look more like the Persona 3 Portable ones above (Such as the L and R at the top):

Could you change the name on the template from "random" to "Minato"? Apart from changing the name, is it possible to change that status to the "Good" as shown on my Persona 3 Portable sample? I'm not sure why the template has "Annoyed" on it. Things like the Academics, charm, courage, HP, SP, Next EXP can follow the template (maxed out).

Also, as the status screen has a picture of the character, I was wondering if you could crop me from my picture to put it there. I'm thinking of this one here, although I'm not sure if the lighting is bad(maybe using some photo effects can help?) :

Oh and another thing about the character picture. There's this "shadow" background of the character according to the Persona 3 Portable samples. I'm hoping that you could help to do that for me? 

Lastly, I was thinking of putting my contact details at the bottom of the front, which means removing all the wordings at the bottom. Is that ok?haha Sorry that I can only find a large resolution of the PS2 version template and asking you to make it more like the PSP version template. That screenshot of the PSP status screen was the best and largest I could obtain!

Alan Wake

I've just finished Alan Wake, a psychological thriller game, on my PC. And I must say, it was a rather interesting game! Sure, it was not as scary as Silent Hill or F.E.A.R., but it had its moments. The game, I feel, is more played for it's storyline rather than for the action. I find the plot quite impressive, reminding me of the plots in movies like Shutter Island.

The story begins with you, Alan Wake, going on a vacation with your wife to a place called Bright Falls. There, you wind up in a cabin where your wife disappears and you wake up 7 days later, trying to piece together what was going on and finding your wife. Through the game you'll interact with people, learn about the history of Bright Falls, and face the dangers of the Dark Presence in the night.

The gameplay is not too difficult. You're equipped with a torchlight and a pistol to fight the Taken, who are actually people taken over by the Dark Presence to stop you. Your arsenal would soon expand to include things like flare guns and flash grenades, in your battle of light versus dark. In the day, things are pretty standard; you go around talking to people. It is the night time that I dread. Because that is when the Dark Presence comes out to disturb you.

You'll spend time running around forested areas, encountering shadowy figures holding sickles and axes that look like they just stepped out of a horror movie. You need to either kill them or escape in order to progress through the story. Trust me, in this game, you'd be very thankful to find a huge light source such as a street lamp in the middle of the night.

Characters in the game are well-developed, so to speak. Their different personalities in the game make them feel unique and real. I'm always glad to see Barry, as he made a good partner and helped liven things up in the dark, sad world.

This game is not scary in the sense of ghosts and stuff, but more of the dark atmosphere and a bit of paranormal stuff(like flying objects that attempt to bludgeon you to death). The sudden appearance of the Taken, especially when you're in the forest, does not help sooth your soul at all. I always felt a sense of dread whenever the forest turns very foggy, as I took that as a sign that danger was looming.

Everything about this game was impressive. The graphics was good, the plot really reeled me in, and the action ensured that the game was not dull. If there is one thing I would complain about, it would be the "final boss fight". I expected a big, tough battle at the end of the whole game, but in the end, the "fight" was rather simple. I'm not saying that it sucked; I just don't want people to play this game expecting the amount of action to be on par with its focus on storyline. This game is really fun to play, and I'd recommend it to people who enjoys such games!